Tips for dealing with family during the holidays

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Dr. Brandon Hollie

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12/3/2024

Dealing with family during the holidays can be difficult. Use the tips below to ensure peace during the holiday season.

1. Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries regarding discussions that may lead to conflict. For example, if political discussions tend to escalate into arguments, inform your family that you would prefer to avoid these topics during gatherings.

2. Practice Active Listening

Listening to understand rather than to respond can create a more peaceful environment. For instance, when a family member shares their perspective, try summarizing what they said before offering your view. This shows respect for their opinion and can diffuse tension.

3. Focus on Gratitude

Shift the focus to positive aspects of your family relationships. Consider starting the meal with a gratitude round, where everyone shares something they appreciate about another family member. This can foster positivity and connection.

4. Give Yourself a Break

If family interactions become overwhelming, excuse yourself for a brief moment. Take a short walk outside or find a quiet room to recharge before rejoining the gathering. This time alone can help you regain your composure.

5. Manage Expectations

Recognize that not every holiday gathering will be perfect. Accepting that some interactions may be challenging can help you manage your responses. For example, if a family member tends to make snide remarks, prepare yourself mentally so that you’re less affected by their comments.

6. Use Humor Wisely

Light humor can ease tension and promote laughter. If a stressful situation arises, a light-hearted comment might help redirect the mood. However, be mindful of others' feelings to avoid crossing any lines.

7. Plan Activities

Organizing group activities can shift the focus away from conversation. Consider games, cooking together, or taking a family walk. Engaging in a shared task can create a more relaxed atmosphere and reduce the likelihood of conflict.

8. Communicate Openly

Express your feelings and needs calmly. If a particular dynamic is bothering you, bring it up in a thoughtful manner when emotions are not running high. For example, if a family member is overstepping boundaries, gently explain how their behavior affects you.

9. Choose Your Battles

Decide which issues are worth addressing and which you can let go of for the holiday. If a minor irritation arises, it may be more beneficial to overlook it in order to maintain harmony during the gathering.

10. Follow Up After the Holidays

Keep in touch with family after the holidays to address any unresolved issues. A simple phone call or message can clear misunderstandings and reinforce the importance of family relationships, showing that you value communication year-round.

Implementing these strategies can help create a more enjoyable and harmonious holiday experience with your family.

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